I haven’t been able to sleep since you got here. I always woke up in the middle of the night and watched you with that silly Wallnut hat. I just wanted to roll over and snuggle on your chest like I always would. But that would hurt the both of us even more, wouldn’t it… knowing the same cycle would happen soon after.
It’s so hard. And it’s unfair. God, I missed you so much omg… Had Fate given you to me in different circumstances … sigh. I know you struggled… are struggling. But it was just as hard for me. Seeing you so sad … I just wanted to hug and kiss you and be sad with you. But again… that would make things even more complicated.
I still love you. Maybe a slightly different love, but love regardless. That’s why I keep those pictures on my desk. It’s to look over and smile and say “wow, I truly loved this boy… and I still do”.
Y’know… we’re both going to move on eventually someday. Whether we want to or not. We’ll learn to cope and adapt and soon it’ll become a norm again. I’m just glad you decided to stick around … thank you… and I’m sorry.